{"product_id":"hello-darkness-sudden-vertical-velocity-correction-tee","title":"'Hello Darkness' | Sudden Vertical Velocity Correction Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eEver experienced a temporary system blackout while transitioning from a seated to a standing state? This shirt is for the engineers whose internal gyroscopes need a moment to recalibrate after a long shift at the workstation. Featuring a high-fidelity rendering of a fluctuating heartbeat and a lyrical reference to the inevitable dimming of your ocular sensors, it’s the perfect apparel for those of us who stand up at a velocity higher than our cardiovascular system can currently handle.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBiometric Graphic:\u003c\/strong\u003e Displays a red EKG heart rate monitor line, indicating the exact moment your equilibrium went offline.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eLyrical Debugging:\u003c\/strong\u003e A classic Simon \u0026amp; Garfunkel reference optimized for orthostatic hypotension awareness.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStructural Integrity:\u003c\/strong\u003e Made from high-grade cotton to ensure comfort while you wait for the room to stop spinning and your sensors to come back online.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eStandard Build:\u003c\/strong\u003e S, M, L, XL — \u003cstrong\u003eIndustrial Build:\u003c\/strong\u003e 2XL, 3XL, 4XL, 5XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Shirt Nerd XL","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":53973388296506,"sku":null,"price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":53973388329274,"sku":null,"price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":53973388362042,"sku":null,"price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":53973388394810,"sku":null,"price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":53973388427578,"sku":null,"price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL","offer_id":53973388460346,"sku":null,"price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL","offer_id":53973388493114,"sku":null,"price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL","offer_id":53973388525882,"sku":null,"price":18.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0898\/3743\/7242\/files\/hello-darkness-my-old-friend.png?v=1788029920","url":"https:\/\/shirtnerdxl.com\/products\/hello-darkness-sudden-vertical-velocity-correction-tee","provider":"Shirt Nerd XL","version":"1.0","type":"link"}