Gorilla Warfare: The Bored Engineer's Masterpiece
Gorilla Warfare: The Bored Engineer's Masterpiece
Didn’t fit right? We’ll make it right — free exchange or refund, no questions asked. Returns policy
📏 View Size Chart — Fits true to size, up to 5XL
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- Premium DTG Print — Won’t Crack or Fade
- Easy 30-Day Returns
Ever been stuck in a three-hour sprint planning meeting and felt the sudden urge to reject humanity and return to monke? We’ve been there. This shirt captures that exact moment of primal frustration, rendered in glorious "I should be taking notes" notebook aesthetic.
Featuring a silverback who clearly just saw the latest Jira ticket backlog, this punk-rock primate is screaming into the void so you don't have to. The "crumpled paper" look says "I’m edgy and artistic," while the gorilla says "Don't ask me about the legacy code."
It’s the perfect attire for aggressive debugging sessions, mosh pits, or just looking intimidating at the local coffee shop while you order an oat milk latte.
Specs for the Discerning Great Ape:
- Fabric: 100% heavyweight cotton (stronger than a gorilla’s grip on a banana).
- Vibe: 50% Punk Rock / 50% "I didn't pay attention in Calc II."
- Durability: Pre-shrunk, because the only thing that should be shrinking in your life is your technical debt.
Stop monkeying around and add this to your stack.
Fabric & Fit
This tee is built for comfort and print quality — soft, sturdy, and made to keep the design looking sharp wash after wash.
- Fit: Unisex, side-seamed tailored cut — structured but not tight, built to flatter a wide range of body types
- Print: Direct-to-garment (DTG) for vibrant, long-lasting detail — no cracking or peeling
- Fabric: 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton (solid colors). Heather and Ash colorways are cotton/poly blends for extra softness and drape
- Made with eco-friendly processes and materials
Care Instructions
- Wash: Cold water, inside out, to protect the print
- Dry: Tumble dry low or hang dry — keeps the shape and size true
- Store: Cool, dry place, out of direct sunlight
Frequently Asked Questions
Does this run true to size?
Yes — it’s a structured unisex fit, not oversized or slim. Check the size chart above if you’re between sizes; when in doubt, size up.
What sizes do you carry?
S through 5XL, so you don’t have to hunt down a separate “big and tall” line.
How long until my order ships?
Ships in 1–3 business days, with delivery in 5–8 days.
What if it doesn’t fit or arrives damaged?
Free exchange or refund within 30 days — no hassle. See Returns policy
Will the print crack or fade?
No — we use DTG printing, which bonds the ink into the fabric instead of sitting on top of it, so it holds up through repeated washes when cared for as directed above.
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