'Hello Darkness' | Sudden Vertical Velocity Correction Tee

Ever experienced a temporary system blackout while transitioning from a seated to a standing state? This shirt is for the engineers whose internal gyroscopes need a moment to recalibrate after a long shift at the workstation. Featuring a high-fidelity rendering of a fluctuating heartbeat and a lyrical reference to the inevitable dimming of your ocular sensors, it’s the perfect apparel for those of us who stand up at a velocity higher than our cardiovascular system can currently handle.

• Biometric Graphic: Displays a red EKG heart rate monitor line, indicating the exact moment your equilibrium went offline.
• Lyrical Debugging: A classic Simon & Garfunkel reference optimized for orthostatic hypotension awareness.
• Structural Integrity: Made from high-grade cotton to ensure comfort while you wait for the room to stop spinning and your sensors to come back online.
• Standard Build: S, M, L, XL — Industrial Build: 2XL, 3XL, 4XL, 5XL